When we directly or indirectly take efforts to prevent ourselves from achieving our goals, we are engaging in self-sabotage. This behavior may have an impact on almost every part of our life, whether it's a relationship, a job objective, or a personal goal like weight reduction. Although widespread, it is an extremely unpleasant cycle of behavior that undermines our self-esteem and leaves us feeling stuck. Substance addiction, resorting to food, and procrastination are all examples of self-sabotage. We may also self-sabotage by failing to commit to relationships or being bad friends, even though the connection is what we genuinely desire.
WHY DO WE SELF SABOTAGE?
Absence of self-esteem: If we don't believe in ourselves, we won't be able to attain our goals. Our self-worth is a component of self-confidence. If we continuously convince ourselves that we are not clever enough, competent enough, or good enough to get what we desire, we will act accordingly. When we lack confidence, we will do anything to prevent ourselves from reaching our full potential.
Fear of failure: We are afraid of failing because we are afraid that we will devote everything we have to a goal and yet fall short. It is far simpler to give yourself reasons for failing than it is to genuinely give it your all and still fail. This is the most compelling cause for self-sabotage.
Not being accountable: When we feel we aren't going to perform well or will fail no matter what, we start acting in ways that assure we will fail. When we say things like, “I'm not going to win the contract anyhow,” we abdicate our responsibility for accomplishing our objectives. When we fail because we told ourselves we would, we may shift the responsibility to someone else. We may rationalize delay or failure to prepare because we have already accepted that we will fail.
Caught up in the comfort zone: Life presents us with a lot of opportunities to be successful, but we tend to miss most of them because we do not wish to step outside of our comfort area. Sometimes the problem is not ignoring the opportunities, but not making an effort to grab them. We tend to self-sabotage ourselves in this process and end up wishing for more opportunities.
HOW TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGING YOURSELF?
Set a Proper Goal: There might be a possibility that you are working hard enough for success, but you aren’t receiving any results. The path of success is not always smooth or easy, but having goals, whether big or small, makes you work correctly. Setting a proper goal will not allow you to deviate, instead, it will push you to eliminate all unnecessary actions that don’t lead up to your goal.
Stop Short-term Enjoyment: When you start enjoying the little things you often don’t realize what you are missing out on. The small pleasures are a big distraction, most of the time you fall into this trap and get deviated from the track to success. Whenever you have a major exam coming up you study rigorously, but when your friends ask you to hang out you try to squeeze some time for them. Now think, what if you used this precious time to revise?
Don’t Doubt Your Ability: You believe you lack the skill because you are doubting yourself, which is totally normal. Of course, if you've never been a leader or established a firm, you'll be skeptical of what's possible. Everyone has doubts because they are how we deal with the unknown that comes with any chance.
Doubt serves as a coping technique. When you face the unknown and decide to go against your doubts, you use your present skill to your advantage.
Action Action Action: Self-sabotaging practices are sometimes deeply established and difficult to identify. And even if you do notice them, recognizing how you limit yourself might be difficult to accept. However, take into account that simply identifying these tendencies is the first step toward altering them. And you don't have to do it by yourself. Friends loved ones, and skilled therapists can all provide assistance.
Maybe you're not sure you've got what it takes to win however, rather than thinking, “Why to bother?” and crumpling up, do it out and submit your finest work. What you discover about yourself may be as valuable as winning. I am Dr. Manjunath, a mind performance coach and an expert in brain science. I invite you all to join us in my program to unlock the door to your success. To know more – https://coachmanjunath.com/